So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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