There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I think your dad took our porno
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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