I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
