he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
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