Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
