I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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