The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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