my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
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