I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
