She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
