i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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