Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
