$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
