he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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