"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
