Small penises have feelings too.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
