Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
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He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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