Heybabeimwearingurpanties
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
