Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
