STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I just forgot I was standing up.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
