Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
