Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
