You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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