There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize