were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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