Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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