after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Mom said you looked used
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
