imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
