Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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