just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
