just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
