It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
