I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
