I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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