i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
