If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
