So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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