i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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