I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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