Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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