I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
