White coat. Heels.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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