sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize