i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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