I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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