38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize