so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Randomize
