i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
