that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
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I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
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I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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