That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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