I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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