New low: just hacked my moms facebook
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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