I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Randomize
