After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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