2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
