are you still at the devil's house?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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