So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
