Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
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I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
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My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize