sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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