Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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