After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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