Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
