a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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