it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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